Norman

I am learning to like Fort Worth more and more. I am thankful that Father has directed me to Fort Worth and I still get to visit Norman every once in a while. 

I took a trip back to Norman this past weekend to see my sister and attend my dear friend Sarah's baby shower. It was such a great time!! 

I realized driving up there that it really has been a long time since I had made the drive (over 4 months, which might not seem like a lot but when your use to making the trip once maybe twice every other month it is). Nothing looked familiar to me anymore. At one point I could not even tell where I was anymore and thought I was going the wrong way haha. 

I realized how much I miss Norman and the people that Jesus had placed in my life while I was there. Things are so much simpler there, there is no responsibility there (at least not anymore since I have moved, it really is vacation for me), some of my closest friends are there (who I use to see on a regular basis), it is just fun!  

I got to see so many people this weekend, not just at the baby shower but I jam packed my Saturday to make time for as many people as I could!! Breakfast, lunch and dinner were all spent with different people, in between the shower and dinner I made time with friends and after dinner just keep going. I think I saw and talked to more people this weekend than I have in a few weeks. I was in extrovert heaven. By that evening I could not help by smile and be extremely happy. I told one of my friends that night that my heart was so full. It was just what I needed and I did not even know it. 

Life is very different here in Fort Worth. Of course, I knew that that would be true of wherever I ended up after college. College is a bubble, nothing like the "adult world" and that is okay. This weekend really showed me that I am still not use to it yet. I have a new job that is allowing me to really transition into the "adult life", realizing that before having this job I was living in a very different mind set. Being done with school did not feel real to me, working at BBW felt like an extended summer.

Now that this new stage of life is upon me, I know I still have so much learn. The next few years are going to be so foundational and character building for me and I am excited to see how it happens.

Happy Birthday Jesus

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Thank you for coming as a man to live and eventually die for me!

Things Promised

I have been reading a book called Money Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn for the Antioch Project that I am starting in January but doing my reading for now. 

What is the Antioch Project you ask?? Good questions... I would be asking myself the same thing if I didn't already know. Well the Antioch Project is a five year intentional ministry training program offered by the Hope Global Network for those who believe God is calling them to vocational ministry or key lay leadership roles. One key thing that makes this training different from say going to seminary is that the Antioch Project using not only classroom training but also hands-on, character shaping and leadership skills forming training through personal study, hands-on training in ministry and mentoring/coaching in ministry. 

You should look into it here!!

Back to the book. In chapter 11: The Pilgrim Mentality, he makes such a simple but mind blowing statement about not being at home in this world. "Abraham didn't know where he was going but he knew with whom he was going. He was able to live in this world and not receive the things promised knowing there was an eternity in which promises would be fulfilled and a city awaiting him as far superior to an earthly city as its Architect and Builder is superior to men (page 164)." 

I do not know where my life is going to end up 40 years from now and I have not be promised anything specific from the Lord at this point in my life but I do know just like Abraham that I am on the journey with Jesus. 
When I read those two sentences I immediately thought of getting married someday. What little girl doesn't dream of getting married to her knight in shining armor one day, it is ingrained into us as young girls. Now as I have gotten older I have learned that Prince Charming does not exists outside of Disney and I can not hold on to a promise that has never actually been made to me (I do not know if this is something the Lord is going to grant me) but getting married is a desire of mine and I know that He wants to give us the desires of our heart (Psalms 37:4). The sections that I underlined was the kicker. Am I able to be completely content in this world knowing that marriage, children, etc. might not come BUT someday eternity will fulfill me far more than I ever could have thought??? 

How _______ is that to grasp? The things of this world: getting married, family, friends, love, joy, and the things we accumulate can never satisfy us like eternity with God will one day. Am I living by faith in God and not the things that I have or might have in the future? I want to sit here and be able to write that I would be content and OK in the life if I did not get married and that my desire is just that a desire BUT sadly I think for a long time I have expected that one day I will get married and have a family. I date with the expectation that God will allow one fellow to stick around. I don't think I have ever really thought about the fact that I could NOT get married and be single for the rest of my life.... WOW! What a simple and real revelation!! 

I AM NOT PROMISED A HUSBAND! 
I am promised that God is going to love me and be by my side for the rest of my life and into eternity, how is that not better than a husband! 
I will wait and let God do it for me and if a man is part of "it" than I will be happy not happier but just the same 'ole happy that Jesus makes me everyday!

Just that Name

"When I wake up in the Land of Glory

And with the saints I will tell my story

There will be one Name that I proclaim"

The Only Name by Big Daddy Weave

I am so amazed at God's love for me. Seven months ago I graduated from the University of Oklahoma and thought I would be moving to California at the end of the summer. God has directed my life to a different path and I couldn't be more grateful. I am so happy to say that I am now a Staff Professional at Terracon Consulting in Dallas. After months and months of applying and searching for a job God has given me one that I am very excited about. Thank you to all those prayer warriors out there that prayed with me through these last few months. I am very grateful!!

I am just in awe of the faithfulness of my God. Like it says in Luke 16 "Whoever can be trusted with little can also much trusted with much..." I have seen this become reality in my own life. I have not been perfect by any means but have just tired my best to honor and glorify The Lord with my life. I believe deciding to stay in Fort Worth (which was only possible by God's grace) was the start of God doing some amazing things. This allowed me to then trust enough to deal with and process through some past hurts. I decided to become a member of a church I didn't think I would come back to. My next step was to make sure I was continuing with my life long training and so I committed to The Antioch Project (a ministry training program through that very same church I became a member of) which I will start in January. I didn't always have the best attitude about my present situation, I was working at Bath and Body Works and living at home (two things that were not on my radar back in May) but I learned more and more what it looks like to live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 with a right attitude.

I have prayed many prayers over the last seven months, not all of them I have gotten an answer for yet but one I have: I prayed that God would give me a job by the end of the year and His timing is perfect December 11, 2013 I got my offer letter. It is so amazing to see the God of the Universe work in our small lives and give us our hearts desires. He could have waiting until January 1st to give me a job and He still would have been praised.

I truly believe that my new job is a blessing and reward from Jesus for being faithful, available and teachable! I knew that staying positive and trusting who was in control of my life was going to be better in eternity than worrying and doubting the place God had me in.

There is only one name that I can give all the praise to for helping me through these last seven months and that is Jesus Christ. I am so incredibly blessed and can not wait to start my new job!!

11-08-1989

God has done some really wonderful and unexpected things in my 23rd year. There is so much to be thankful for. 

I helped to present my capstone project at the end of April

Attended college with my sister for one year

Learned how to and how not to resolve conflict

I survived and graduated from college in May

I made some really hard decisions about where to live

I worked retail with a college degree

I became a member of my church and got more involved

Moved back in with my parents

Attended my first Hope Global Network Wisdom Conference

And I could probably go on and on.

I am extremely grateful to be given another year of life to glorify my Creator and love those around me that He places in my path. Thank you everyone for celebrating and loving me in return.

I am Blessed

Make the Choice

"He produces the change, but we must make the choice (pg 23)." 

From Changing Your Thought Patterns by George Sanchez

This 27 page pamphlet is an amazing tool in learning how to "be transformed be the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). It was given to me during my first Growth Group meeting this last Monday. This semester we are going to be talking about Defeating the Enemy Within and the first place we started was with our thoughts. 

Sanchez talks about how we as Christians resort to prayer when would like to change our attitude hoping that enough prayer will cause the change. He says "After we pray, somehow something is suppose to happen and our attitudes change. We may not say it that way, but there is the implication that some mystical process takes place and attitudes change when a person reads the Bible or prays (pg 7)." 

I am really humbled in reading this because I am guilty as all get out of this. I have come before The Lord with something that I want to make a change in... a habit or desire as well as my thoughts and I pray. I ask Jesus for the ability to make these things different but there have been times when I do not take the responsibility that I need to in order to make the change occur in my life.

This little book has given me a different way to think about thought replacement. Sanchez uses the illustration of putting up a dam to not just stop the old thought patterns but to then redirect them. "We should not just suppress thoughts, we should redirect them. We should change negative thought patterns into positive thought patterns (pg 10-11)." An example from Ephesians 4 is given, how does a thief stop being a thief... the thief is instructed to get a job and earn money honestly then also give to others in need.

To change these thoughts patterns we must do two things:

1) We must build the dam (refuse to allow wrong thoughts)

2) We must redirect the flow (develop a new way of thinking)

I can go to God in meditation and fervent prayer with everything I want to change but if I am not going to make it a matter of the will and act on these desires to change my thoughts then what good will come of it?? I need to be doing what I know is right and making good choices so that God (the power source) will energizes me to act out these right choices. 

God has called his children to "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 (NLT) and when God says his children are to do something, it is never a question of "can't" but "won't." I have dealt with this over and over again in my life. I can't love this person because of what they have done to me... I can't forgive that... I can't change who I am... "The issue is not "can't" but "won't" (pg 19)." I am completely guilty of this! I sometimes won't make the right choices that will lead to a change in my thought patterns even though I have the power source living inside me to do so. 

Are you not only taking your thoughts captive but also developing a new way of thinking to replace them?? 

If you have never read Changing you Thought Patterns by George Sanchez you can get a copy from navpress.com and check it out for yourself!!

My Words

I enjoy the Internet!

Facetime and Skype are the greatest inventions!

I love blogging (even though I have not been keeping up lately)

I am a fan of Facebook!

I enjoy using Instagram!

I say all of this because of the connection that these avenues give you to others. I have friends overseas, on the west coast, and everywhere in between. All of these help us know and see those people who are not just a phone call or car ride away. I am able to keep them as a part of my life because there are now faster ways to do so. I still think snail mail and fun messages are great but I like seeing and hearing my friends.  

On the Dashboard page of my blog there is a place to look at your pageviews stats. Since I started my blog a few years ago it has been viewed by someone outside of the United States OVER 300 TIMES! Now in the grand scheme of things that is not a lot and compared to other people that might be minuscule but I thought it was so fun! Some of these people I know, some of them I have no idea but it is just the thought that my blog has made it across the world is SO fun!

There are people in Russia who have looked at my blog over 100 times, in Germany over 80 times, my friends in Cambodia have seen it and as well as many other countries. This is not a huge revelation but it is just amazing to think of the people I am reaching with my words!