HOW??

How? So much goes into such a small three letter word.

It is almost as powerful as another three letter word... Why?

How can such things happen?

Why can such things happen?

How can people do this or that?

Why do people do this or that?

How am I where I am today?

Why am I where I am today?

For me the "why" questions in life seem so much easier to answer. I think that knowing the God of the universe makes it easier to answer them. Why does something happen, because God allowed it to happen that way. But a "how" question has more of a human element to it just do to the fact that we do this or that here on earth and it is our own response to life that leaves others with the how.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but as I write this I am only really thinking of one thing and that is suicide. Not that I would do that myself but just about the concept in general. It seems like I have known so many people affected by suicide in the last few years. Not only have these other people been affected by it but these people who have taken there own life I know them, not on a personal level but I have met them before. I have never experienced this first hand but it just blows my mind. A girl from my high school, who I knew fairly well, has just recently gone through the pain of losing her boyfriend due to suicide. She has a blog that I read and just from reading her blog I never want to put someone through that and I hope I never have to go through it either.

I have always wondered HOW can someone do that to themselves and to others around them?? This is ultimately where my post is stemming from. Just from seeing the affect that committing suicide can have on the ones you leave behind I truly believe that doing so is a very selfish act.

Jesus has a plan for each and every person on earth.
How could you just give up on that??
It breaks my heart to read about the after effects of peoples decisions..
RUN TO THE LORD!!!! 

I need sleep!!!

Man, was I convicted today at church!

I went home for OU/Texas weekend and was able to go to my home church in Fort Worth this morning. The sermon was about time and this just really hit home for me. Over the last month or so I have just felt very very busy, and because of that I have had to pick and choose where I spend my time. Which I would say I have not been picking well. This is something that has always been a struggle for me and I have been working on it since coming to college. I have gone through periods of life where my time has not been an issue and where it has. When it has been an issue in the past it has lead to some very not so fun this happening in life.

One this that Harold talk about this morning was that we waste so much of our time. There were a few things that he mentioned that waste our time and I am guilty of all of them: anger, malice, lust, guilt, depression, the pursuit of entertainment and pleasure. There are so many times when I should be studying for a test or perparing for a lesson that something like anger over something silly or a tv show end of taking up that time. Entertainment is a big one for me, we have Netflix at my house and that has been the end of me. I have been WASTING so much time watching Law and Order: SUV or some other show that I end up stressing out over school.

Harold gave us tips for finding "more" time and they sure were helpful.

1. Do not be vague or thoughtless; do not be on autopiolt

Instead, evaluate occasionally (Areas where you are drifting rather than progressing and what things are coming up)

2. Understand what the will of the Lord is for the facets of my life

3.Use vacant time
4. Do things "off peak"

5. Trafe entertainment for progress

The hard part for me is going to put into practice the things that I need to do in order to use my time wisely and not waste it on thoughtless, unimportant things!! I see the importants for this the older and older that I get and things really start to pile up in your days. I know that there is never going to be a season in life where I am perfect at this but I do know that I can continue to learn and grow in my time use and hold on the to Lord for help!!

My Desires

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

There is so much that I desire, so much that I ask the Lord for. Not only is it part of who we are as humans (to have desires for things, to want things in life) but as a girl I feel like it is just worse for us. Am I right ladies?? There are so many things that I want for my life: More than anything, I desire to get married, I would love to live overseas for sometime in life, I desire to help other people, I desire to have my own kids as well as adopt, and so much more. I am having a hard time laying those desires down at the throne and waiting on the Lord right now. I know he has my best interest at heart BUT (why is there always a but, why can't the Lord just be enough for me??) waiting is awlays been hard for me. Just like the verse says, I really need to take delight in the Lord its just that some seasons in life are easier then other.

But back to the question "Why is the Lord not enough for me at times?" I get so frustrated with myself when this question comes up in my life. This is a question that is always been a pain for me because I don't always know how to answer it. I know that my journey with Christ is just that a journey, that I am not going to just poof to the end of my life where everything is hunky dory, if only it were easy. I go through these seasons of life where God is all I need and I am content as can be. Waiting on God!!! Even though it is hard to wait on God's timing, waiting has brought me closer to Him, which I would not change for the world. I am very thankful for all the that God has taught me through my waiting but I don't always want to :-)

My Father

My Father...

Loves me

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 Cares for me

 

Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

 

Forgives me

Psalm 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Is compassionate 

Psalm 103:4-5 “who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s”

Is giving

Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

Is understanding 

Psalm 139:1-2 “You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.”

Is accepting
 

Psalm 139:1-6 “You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.”

Satisfies

Psalm 107:9 “for He satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.”

Persistently pursues me

Luke 19:10 “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

Is reason 

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.”

Pardons 

Psalm 103:3 “who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases, “

Heals 

Isaiah 53:5 “But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed

Redeems 

Job 19:25 “I know that my redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand on the earth.”

Is loving-kindness 

Psalm 86:15 “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”

Renews 

Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”

Is righteous 

Jeremiah 9:23-24 “This is what the LORD says:

  “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD.”

Is gracious 

Ephesians 1:7-8 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, “

Is sovereign

Psalm 103:19 “The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.”

Obeying

Obey (verb): to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of God.

This is a verb that is very hard for me to do when it comes to making things right, asking forgiveness, or clearing up a relationship. But since I have gotten to college I have learned that obedience is necessary in my walk with God and I have been better about it. About 10 minutes ago I had to obey God once again in talking to an ex-boyfriend. I was convicted by the Lord that I never clearly communicate how thankful I was for the way he treated me. So that is what I did and now that I have done it I feel really good. When I obey the Lord there is just a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I know that I did something right in the eyes of the Lord, He is smiling down on me!!

Luke 11:28
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Acts 5:29
Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!

Philippians 2:12
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

 

 

Satan is a punk!

Over the last few weeks Satan has just been spiritually attacking me with aspects from my past that have not been an issue in years and I didn't even know was him. I just thought that something was wrong with me and that I needed to fix it. My good friend Sarah Jane helped me see that this was not true. Satan is at work against the Lord and he will do all he can to turn me from God and get me to slowly but surely not trust and love Him.

There are forces of good out there (God and His angels) protecting me and guiding me but there is another side of that, what they are protecting me from, the forces of evil out there (Satan and his demons) that want to steal kill and destroy the ones that God has called (John 10:10).

I am have been walking with Jesus seriously for 3 years now and I have never felt so defeated. I love the Lord and who He has grown me to be! God would never leave me to fight against Satan without His help (1 Corinthians 10:13) I have the promise of God that nothing He allows to happen in my life is not something I can't handle with His help.

I know that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God. His word says so:

Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am so thankful for this verse as a reminder that even Satan is not strong enough to take me away from God. Isn't God's word the BEST!!

Thank you Lord for friends like Sarah who I can turn to when I dont know what else to do. She is a blessing in my life. I will cling to your word as truth in my life. There is nothing that can separate me from your Love and Mercy!! :-)

Where Are You Now?

So today is the ten year anniversary of the attack on America and all I have been hearing about is "Where were you when the tragedy happened?" It is a good question to think about, I was driving to school listening to the radio about the first tower being hit and when the second tower was hit I was in my 6 grade science class. I didn't really understand what was happening or the magnitude of how this was going to affect us as Americans.

But as I think about all that this question brings with it there is one question that pops in my  mind is "Where are you now?" For some  not a lot has changed since that day but for others there will always be life before 9/11 and life after 9/11. Ten years later and I am a completely different person. Even though I don't have that change there is one that I do have, I have a before 3/30/08 and after 3/20/08. I went through a lot of ups and downs during middle school and even more so in high school but now thanks to the day that I obeyed God's command to proclaim my faith by getting baptized in March 2008 I have a new life in Jesus. 

I am about to finish up my last years of college and I know for a fact that God has done a great work in me and will continue to work in me for the next however many years He allows me here on earth. I am so glad that God has changed me, if I was the same person that I was in high school I would be living a very different life style. For one thing I would not be here in Oklahoma going to OU.

Have you ever thought about where you would be in life if you didn't have Christ? Or for some it is if you had Christ in your life? Do you have that defining moment when you knew that tomorrow would be a different day because of Jesus? I don't think a lot about the day that Jesus changed me but I really should. Just like He changed this country He can change each and every person on the planet!

I really hope you will give Him a chance!

New Year, New Friends

Not living in the dorms anymore has made me realize that I never want to live by myself, haha. I live with three other girls and unfortunately we just don't see each other very much and that has been hard on me. I don't know if I realized this until just now but God is really teaching me something through these feeling of loneliness. I have to rely on Him to meet all of my needs. For all I know He could really be preparing me for something in my future too.

I am really having to learn how to do ministry while living in a house off campus, it is a lot harder and a lot different than I thought. I still not sure what this year is going to look like but the Bible study Barrett and I are doing is going to be a great ministry opportunity!! Seeing what God is going to do and also getting to meet new people that are coming around. Just telling girls about our Bible study has already giving me the chance to meet more people, which I love to do!!

Living off campus has also been a blessing, there are so many people that I have gotten to know due to the fact that I live off campus and I don't see my closest friends all the time. I have really had to reach out to people that, if I were living in the dorms, I would never even see. 

Jessie Robertson has been such a blessing to me in picking me up since I don't have a car. It has been fun to get to hear about her life over at the Health Science Center. I just love her gentle spirit and how sweet she is!!

I am so thankful for Bethany Branscum too. I got to have lunch with her today and it was just a breath of fresh air. I am so glad that we have been able to get to know each other! She is just precious! I am so sad that it took so long for us to finally get to know each other. But with Christ it is never too late!! :-) There is so much that I can relate with her on that has just happened to us within the last year. It is really cool to see God work in the ways He does, knowing when you will need a friend that knows what you are going through!!

Friends are very important to me, because they are one way that I know God loves me and is looking out for me (through them). I have made some of the best friends while in college and I know for a fact that God has orchestrated each and everyone of them. One of my favorite things about being apart of a ministry is that new people are always coming into your life. I am such a people person, that is how God made me and I am so thankful for that!!

Its September!!

Where has this year gone?? It is already September, WOW!! There are only four months left in 2011, that is just crazy. September brings a lot of great things with it though. Friends birthdays, Sooner Football, three day weekend, and the start of my first Bible study !!

My friend, Barrett and I are going to be doing a coed Bible study on Monday nights called "Life's a Lions Den." We will be looking at the lives of great men and women from the Bible who have dealt with some of the same issues we deal with everyday and just see how they looked (or didn't look) to God  for help and what we can learn from them.

I am excited to be leading with Barrett, we are so different and I think that is why this is going to be so fun. We each have something to bring to the table. And he is a good friend of mine so that helps make things even more fun to learn from each other.

I am really excited about this opportunity but I am also very nervous just with the fact that I have never lead a big group before, this is going to be a new experience and a time to really trust God. I am thinking my prayer life is really going to grow throughout this semester!!  I have already been thinking about the topics that I would like to cover: perseverance, relationships, and prayer are just some that I hope we can get to before December.

I can't wait to see what God does through this Bible study. There have already been a few people (guys and girls) that have shown interest in our group. The Lord is very faithful and I am confident that our whoever comes is going to learn a lot about God and how to rely more heavily on Him!

God is Mighty to Save

I just think it is so refreshing to know that there is a God out there who cares. He cares about the old, the newborn, the sick, the healthy, the rich, the poor, you and me!!!

Last Thursday my god-daughter Miss Addison Grace Parks was born. She is my best friend from high school, Kristen's daughter. She is the most beautiful thing in the world.

I love her so much and I have not even met her.

She came to us about 3 weeks early and has been in the NICU since she was born. I am praying for her daily, that Kristen and Devin would get to take her home soon and their family can start their life together!!

I am not an emotional person but as we started to sing a song, I don't even remember what song it was haha. I just started thinking about Addison during this song and just the fact that she might not grow up to know the loving Father that we have in God. I am praying that she will grow up in a home that loves Jesus but I know that her mommy and daddy will have to make that decision.

Well thinking about this just really broke my heart and I started bawling right there in the middle of the song. I just want Addison and the whole family to know that God loves each of them for who they are.

What is cool about this is that a few of the other songs that played that night were about God's love, grace and saving hand. I was reminded once I heard those songs that the family's salvation is not lost. I will continue to pray for them and now just adding Addison to that prayer, God is good, I know He is working.

This song has so much power to it and I wanted to share it!!

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

(Chorus)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears & failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender (I surrender)

 

(Chorus 2x)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

(Bridge 2x)
Shine Your light &
Let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus

(Chorus)
You're the Savior
You can move the mountains
Lord You are mighty to save
You are mighty to saveForever
Author of Salvation
You rose & conquered the grave
Yes You conquered the grave

(Bridge)

If you know anyone who is far from God never give up praying for them, you never know how God is going to work in their life. He works everything out in His timing!!

It's About Time

Well Hello All,
This is a wonderful Sunday morning, isn't it?

I have been wanting to start a blog for about a year now but just didn't have the courage. I always thought: "I don't really have anything to say that is worth posting for "the whole world" to see." But just a few days ago my friend Bethany told me that she had started her own blog and that was just the push I needed to get this off the ground. I don't know who is going to read what I have to say but here I am!!

God is good, and I am excited to share my journey with others.

I just finished the first week of my 4th year at OU, and man it is going to be a busy semester that is for sure. I became a godmother to Addison Grace Parks on August 25th (pictures to come), one of my best friends/roommate got engaged, I am working AND I am trying to get through college in the next year and a half. Although I am excited to be doing what I love doing and learning about how to help others through water resources!! 

I know the only way I am going to make it through this year is with prayer and trusting in Christ.