HOW??

How? So much goes into such a small three letter word.

It is almost as powerful as another three letter word... Why?

How can such things happen?

Why can such things happen?

How can people do this or that?

Why do people do this or that?

How am I where I am today?

Why am I where I am today?

For me the "why" questions in life seem so much easier to answer. I think that knowing the God of the universe makes it easier to answer them. Why does something happen, because God allowed it to happen that way. But a "how" question has more of a human element to it just do to the fact that we do this or that here on earth and it is our own response to life that leaves others with the how.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but as I write this I am only really thinking of one thing and that is suicide. Not that I would do that myself but just about the concept in general. It seems like I have known so many people affected by suicide in the last few years. Not only have these other people been affected by it but these people who have taken there own life I know them, not on a personal level but I have met them before. I have never experienced this first hand but it just blows my mind. A girl from my high school, who I knew fairly well, has just recently gone through the pain of losing her boyfriend due to suicide. She has a blog that I read and just from reading her blog I never want to put someone through that and I hope I never have to go through it either.

I have always wondered HOW can someone do that to themselves and to others around them?? This is ultimately where my post is stemming from. Just from seeing the affect that committing suicide can have on the ones you leave behind I truly believe that doing so is a very selfish act.

Jesus has a plan for each and every person on earth.
How could you just give up on that??
It breaks my heart to read about the after effects of peoples decisions..
RUN TO THE LORD!!!! 

I need sleep!!!

Man, was I convicted today at church!

I went home for OU/Texas weekend and was able to go to my home church in Fort Worth this morning. The sermon was about time and this just really hit home for me. Over the last month or so I have just felt very very busy, and because of that I have had to pick and choose where I spend my time. Which I would say I have not been picking well. This is something that has always been a struggle for me and I have been working on it since coming to college. I have gone through periods of life where my time has not been an issue and where it has. When it has been an issue in the past it has lead to some very not so fun this happening in life.

One this that Harold talk about this morning was that we waste so much of our time. There were a few things that he mentioned that waste our time and I am guilty of all of them: anger, malice, lust, guilt, depression, the pursuit of entertainment and pleasure. There are so many times when I should be studying for a test or perparing for a lesson that something like anger over something silly or a tv show end of taking up that time. Entertainment is a big one for me, we have Netflix at my house and that has been the end of me. I have been WASTING so much time watching Law and Order: SUV or some other show that I end up stressing out over school.

Harold gave us tips for finding "more" time and they sure were helpful.

1. Do not be vague or thoughtless; do not be on autopiolt

Instead, evaluate occasionally (Areas where you are drifting rather than progressing and what things are coming up)

2. Understand what the will of the Lord is for the facets of my life

3.Use vacant time
4. Do things "off peak"

5. Trafe entertainment for progress

The hard part for me is going to put into practice the things that I need to do in order to use my time wisely and not waste it on thoughtless, unimportant things!! I see the importants for this the older and older that I get and things really start to pile up in your days. I know that there is never going to be a season in life where I am perfect at this but I do know that I can continue to learn and grow in my time use and hold on the to Lord for help!!

My Desires

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

There is so much that I desire, so much that I ask the Lord for. Not only is it part of who we are as humans (to have desires for things, to want things in life) but as a girl I feel like it is just worse for us. Am I right ladies?? There are so many things that I want for my life: More than anything, I desire to get married, I would love to live overseas for sometime in life, I desire to help other people, I desire to have my own kids as well as adopt, and so much more. I am having a hard time laying those desires down at the throne and waiting on the Lord right now. I know he has my best interest at heart BUT (why is there always a but, why can't the Lord just be enough for me??) waiting is awlays been hard for me. Just like the verse says, I really need to take delight in the Lord its just that some seasons in life are easier then other.

But back to the question "Why is the Lord not enough for me at times?" I get so frustrated with myself when this question comes up in my life. This is a question that is always been a pain for me because I don't always know how to answer it. I know that my journey with Christ is just that a journey, that I am not going to just poof to the end of my life where everything is hunky dory, if only it were easy. I go through these seasons of life where God is all I need and I am content as can be. Waiting on God!!! Even though it is hard to wait on God's timing, waiting has brought me closer to Him, which I would not change for the world. I am very thankful for all the that God has taught me through my waiting but I don't always want to :-)