I never wanted to forget, I was different than before. I had changed. The Lord had changed me. I knew this was the path I wanted to be on, I was suppose to be on. I was going to go back, someday.
But I have forgotten... Sadly! I have forgotten the names and faces and stories of those I got to know over those two weeks.
I went to Bangkok, Thailand for two weeks after my senior year of high school and it completely changed how I saw my relationship with The Lord, myself and the world. I was two month away from heading off to college and I wanted to start the next chapter of my life with a bang. I had made a conscience decision to take my relationship with The Lord more serious and this trip was going to help.
Now I can not sit here and say that my motives for going on this trip were all pure but nonetheless God still worked, and I am so grateful that he did. This trip helped shape the course of my college career not just in my Faith but also in the classroom.
It was because I got to see a third world country and experience what it is like to not be able to drink water out of the tap for fear of what it will do to you (always having to pay for a bottle of water gets expensive), that I chose environmental engineering as my major. I wanted to get a degree that would allow me to go back and help those who did not have the things that I had/have taken for granted (clean water and sanitation).
I got to college and had never felt so forgiven and loved before. I had many things that I had to work through with The Lord's help but I was ready to tackle them. I knew that I was never alone. I was able to look back on the years between making the decision to follow God in the 5th grade and my Senior year and see how Jesus was with me, how He protected me, how He guided me, how He loved me even when I did not understand or acknowledge Him.
This summer will be five years since I returned from that life changing trip and I have forgotten. It seems like it has been a life time since I left my family and traveled all the way across the world for the first time.
I think having been overseas since that summer played a part. I went to Cambodia. Just stepping into the airport. Getting a smell of the country was familiar and reminded me of my first time to Southeast Asia but I still couldn't "remember." The smell could not bring back the names and the precise growth that the Lord did in me.
This might come as a huge shocker to some of you but I had kept up with a journal at this point in my life. It is sad that I do not have a lot written down about what the Lord was doing in me and the things that happened while I was in Thailand. I only have pictures to capture the moments, which is great, don't get me wrong!
The song below is a song one of dear friends told me about my freshman year of college. I was (what felt like) on top of the world and this song by Caedmon's Call really hit home for me. I had just gotten back from a overseas trip. I left my heart there. I wanted to bring clean water to others. I even changed the lyrics when I sang it and instead of Africa, I sang Thailand!!
I wanted this song to be a reminder for me. I heard this song today for the first time in a good two years and it was a reminder. A reminder of what I didn't remember.
Johannesburg to Capetown,
the plane had barely touched down.
She was taking photo for friends back home.
This was always where she felt her heart belonged.
She was finally here,
the sky bright and clear
(Two weeks....)
And we all can feel the calling.
(Two weeks....)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa [Thailand].
Johannesburg to Houston,
she came home on a mountain.
But school was starting, things kept moving on.
Before she knew it, seven years had gone.
She found a picture of her,
standing, smiling,
arms around the starving kids.
She swore not to forget,
she swore not to forget...
(Two weeks....)
And we all can feel the calling.
(Two weeks....)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa [Thailand].
And if we follow our dear sun
to where the stars are not familiar.
Faces turn to numbers,
numbers fall like manna from the sky.
Why, oh why?
Oh Father, why?
One village in Malawi now has water running pure and clean.
One church alive in Kenya's full of truth and love and medicine.
We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing.
He doesn't need us, but He lets us put our hands in.
So we can see, His love is bigger than you and me.
(Two weeks....)
And we all can feel the calling.
(Two weeks....)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa [Thailand].
I am so thankful for the experience that I had in Thailand and the lessons The Lord taught me and the woman He grew me into through that time. I do not write this as a "pity party" post. But to say, it is easy to forget and move on from the things that shape you, make you who you are. Do what you can to keep those memories in your mind, allow The Lord to continue to use those experiences to shape who you are in Him even if it is has been seven years. I know I want to!! You have to allow him to!!
Philippians 1:6 says "Being confident of this, that he who been a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
