Three Months Have Passed

Wow... More than three months have passed since I last typed. God has done so much in my life and I can't go another three months without telling people. It is just too awesome!

As I look back there is only one reason why I quit... I felt very distant from Jesus last semester. I never meant for our relationship to be put on the back burner but it did. School became my focus and I lost the desire to spend time with Him. It is funny because I had one of my best semesters in school (in a long time) but it had a cost. I did not balance my time well at all. There is no excuse for why I let this happen I just did, and at the time I seemed to be ok with it, which is almost the saddest part. Even though I really had a rough time God was still faithfully by my side, loving me, and taking care of me. During what I call a dry time in our relationship he really did speak to me. Which I was not really excepting but I am sure glad it did!!

To understand that I have to say this... As an engineering major going on a trip overseas for the summer to serve God was something I thought I never had time for (with internships and summer school etc). So because of this fact I really felt like a short term trip over Christmas break was something that I needed to do. So after praying about it and not really getting a NO from God I went to Cambodia this Christmas break (I got back a week ago today and that trip is a whole nother blog in itself so just wait for it).

Well in the middle of the semester as I was raising money for my trip and really just trying to figure out my life God gave me a really hard couple of days. All within a three day period I owed $300 for my trip, I couldn't enroll for my classed in the spring due to owing OU money, I had gotten messed up in my degree track and might have to go yet another year. So needless to say I was freaking out and I cried, something I don't really do A LOT. As I am going through I am not trusting that the Lord has a plan for me and I really start to doubt his goodness. But man, did God show me how small I was... Each of the situations I was facing ended up working out for my good!! How silly am I to think that each thing God brings into my life he is not going to help me through and use to my benefit. I really was putting limitations on the creator of the universe.

And yet God still continued to work in my life. The day after God worked out all my issues one of my friends, Tom, asked me if I was going to be considering going on a team over the summer or if that was out of the question since I was going on the Christmas team. Well not really thinking much about it due to the fact that I HAD to get an internship this summer (within my classes people kept telling me that having an internship would make or break if you got a good job in the future and I truly did believe them) I told Tom that unless God really did call me to go on a team over the summer it wasn't looking very good. So that was that!

Well at Paradigm (my campus ministry's weekly service) that night I was sitting with Beth, one of my Cambodia teammates, not really listening but journaling. When I heard the speaker say "Do you trust God enough to give up your summer for him?" And BAM God spoke to me "Anna do you trust me enough to give up a summer internship for a trip overseas and still believe that I can get you a great job after graduation?" What a conviction!!! It was not a coincidence that I had talked to Tom that morning and he had asked me about the summer. God knows what he is doing!!!

All that to say... I don't know what God is going to do with my summer but I am more open to his will then I was in the past few months. I am in the process of applying for a summer team. I want to keep open ever door possible for God to work in my life. I am super excited to see what he is going to do in the next few months as summer gets closer! All I can do it wait, trust and pray! That is all I want to do :-)