Psalm 139

I have a condition...

It drives me crazy. Makes me uneasy. Gets me in trouble. Makes me do things that I should not do.

But ultimately it makes me who I am.

 

This "condition" is being an ESTJ.
Ultimately it is the extrovert part of that.

A little over a week ago I went through my Myers-Briggs personality profile and really just learned more about me as an ESTJ, it is scary how right on it is (in most areas).

 

I am sitting here in my living room, all alone in my house, didn't get invited to lunch by my sister, blaring my music, thinking about who God has made me to be, and molded me into over my 23 years of existence.

Spend five minutes with me and you will see. I am loud, crazy, rambunctious, obnoxious (to some and I know that), straight-forward. I can't even study by myself without needing someones presence around to make the time go by, we don't necessarily have to talk (but that is always a nice study break). I am getting better at being OK with silence (I started learning that through my last relationship). The Lord has really been doing a work in me since I got to college to love who He has made me to be and learn that I can always be growing. 

 

I titled this post Psalm 139 because when I went through a study on my Identity in Christ a few years ago this is the passage that I clung to during that time.

 

O Lord, you have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths,you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

Twenty-four verses, Fifty-five lines, all about God's knowledge of who I am inside and out and that I am known by the one who created me. How stinking cool is that to dwell on!
The same God that in Genesis 1 created night and day, the sky we see everyday, the animals that we see in our own homes as well as the local zoo... He created me to be just the person I am now, He knew every aspect of my being and you too before we were even born. Doesn't that make you feel special???

Not only did he create us but when He sent his son to die on the cross for my sin and your sin too, He was thinking about us and how much he loved us each as our own individual selves. Now that is amazing!